“Nobody was taking any notice of me yet there was a lovely comforting sensation that beneficent things were being done for me somewhere. I think, as human experiences go, that is one of my favourite ones.” — Claire-Louise Bennett, Pond
Lies I tell at parties
“I’m not much of a hypochondriac.”
“We don’t really watch that much TV.”
“Isn’t that cake delicious? It’s so good, wow.”
How a conversation can collapse (a humorous exhibit)
Man 1: My son married his sister [pointing to other man off stage]. Isn’t that funny? We’ve become like a clan. You [looking at me] should probably get in on this and marry one of them too.
Me: Oh, it’s too late for me.
Man 2: Don’t say that. I had a friend once who got married at 60…
Woman 1: I don’t think that’s what she means. I think she means she’s already married.
Me: Yes. I am married.
Man 2: Oh, I’m sorry. I…
Man 1: Let’s continue our tour.