I would rather pull out all my eyelashes than…

  1. Do a DIY craft project.
  2. Watch another reality TV show about rich, stupid people.
  3. Listen to someone express his or her undying adoration for the genius of Ayn Rand.
  4. Wear shorts.
  5. Watch the Food Network. Or any cooking show, for that matter.
  6. Iron my clothes.
  7. Listen to people talk about what they would have done differently in a pro sporting event.
  8. Pull hair out of the shower drain. (Thanks, Guion!)
  9. Go to the gym.
  10. Watch broadcast TV news.
  11. Sew anything.
  12. Take seriously any of the NRA’s policy recommendations.
  13. Listen to Mumford & Sons.
  14. “Play” in the snow.
  15. Run.