Things no one has ever said to me

  • “I love how adventurous you are and that you delight in trying new things.”
  • “You never interrupt people when they speak; you are such a polite conversationalist.”
  • “It’s nice that you’re so unpretentious about books.”
  • “You like dogs? I had no idea.”

Things I have no interest in learning

For whatever unspoken reasons, I am not interested in learning how to

  • crochet
  • change a tire
  • speak Spanish
  • properly use a curling iron
  • prepare and cook meat
  • make a quilt
  • shoot a gun
  • drive stick
  • French braid my own hair (although I can do a bangin’ job on someone else’s head)
  • ski
  • clean and gut a fish
  • start a fire using only dry leaves and your imagination
  • rock climb
  • befriend cats
  • tie knots like a sailor
  • shape my brows
  • drink and/or like coffee

No judgment against these things;* I’ve just never wanted to learn more. Naturally, knowing how to do any of these things would make me a more utilitarian human (and considerably more likely to survive in postapocalyptic America). But I am uninterested. Alas. Life is short; one can only pursue so many things. But these things, cast aside, haunt me nonetheless. I will apparently go down quickly when the zombies come.

(*Fine; I do reserve a lot of judgment about guns. But that’s the only one.)

Any common task you’ve been uninterested in learning how to perform?

Things I enjoy

Loving on Georgia dog


  • Dragging my sleeves through food I am trying to get into my mouth
  • Eating seven clementines in a sitting
  • Reading aloud in a British accent
  • Calling the dogs with a variety of cheerfully vulgar nicknames
  • Melting bits of chocolate into my clothing as I eat it with all the delicate precision of a woodchuck
  • Not living in Florida
  • Talking to dogs
  • Reading with a pencil in hand
  • Not reading the news
  • Touching people’s faces in the middle of a conversation
  • Listening to Guion laugh
  • Practicing The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying
  • Drinking tea in the afternoon
  • Watching Mitch McConnell’s mouth when it makes words

Living among the things

Click for source.

Liesl Mueller

What happened is, we grew lonely
living among the things,
so we gave the clock a face,
the chair a back,
the table four stout legs
which will never suffer fatigue.
We fitted our shoes with tongues
as smooth as our own
and hung tongues inside bells
so we could listen
to their emotional language,
and because we loved graceful profiles
the pitcher received a lip,
the bottle a long, slender neck.
Even what was beyond us
was recast in our image;
we gave the country a heart,
the storm an eye,
the cave a mouth
so we could pass into safety.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Happy Friday! Things I am looking forward to this weekend: Attending the greatest event in this town, the annual JMRL Friends Book Sale; arranging a play-date with Pyrrha and Roland; reading; practicing ballet; cleaning the house; resting.